Just stuff
I am at Bakers and it is so quiet and boring, there is no one here. My mom is at a meeting, 2 people are on vacation, and who knows where the others are. So, I decided to write a blog; though I think no one reads it .... anyways ..........
There is not much going with me right now other than job hunting and wishing I had someone in my life on a personal level. I have put in 11 applications and I have not heard back from anyone. I cant just take any job because I have to live on my own and I am saying in order for me to live comfortably I need to make at least $30,000. I don't have an option to live with someone. After everything that went down with someone I thought would be OK I don't trust living with just anyone; and the person I would live with is living with someone else. Which is fine but now I am thrown into being even more alone by living alone. I am sure once I am living on my own I will be fine but I get lonely and bored really easy and it is a little scary for me. When I am lonely and bored I think too much and then become depressed sometimes, it depends on what I am thinking about.
There is someone I am interested in but I am not sure if he is interested in me. Honestly (depression moment) I don't know how he could be. I have heard from my mom that he maybe be interested in me but he would be afraid to bring me around his friends because I am not a skinny mini and need to loose 20 or so pounds. Then I heard from a friend that his friends are pressuring him not to get into a long term relationship. I don't know, I think he is just not interested in me. Others have noticed that he acts differently around me than everyone else. I kind of noticed that too in a way. We have a lot in common too. Who knows, my track record is not too good and I am just not that lucky....we'll see.
There is not much going with me right now other than job hunting and wishing I had someone in my life on a personal level. I have put in 11 applications and I have not heard back from anyone. I cant just take any job because I have to live on my own and I am saying in order for me to live comfortably I need to make at least $30,000. I don't have an option to live with someone. After everything that went down with someone I thought would be OK I don't trust living with just anyone; and the person I would live with is living with someone else. Which is fine but now I am thrown into being even more alone by living alone. I am sure once I am living on my own I will be fine but I get lonely and bored really easy and it is a little scary for me. When I am lonely and bored I think too much and then become depressed sometimes, it depends on what I am thinking about.
There is someone I am interested in but I am not sure if he is interested in me. Honestly (depression moment) I don't know how he could be. I have heard from my mom that he maybe be interested in me but he would be afraid to bring me around his friends because I am not a skinny mini and need to loose 20 or so pounds. Then I heard from a friend that his friends are pressuring him not to get into a long term relationship. I don't know, I think he is just not interested in me. Others have noticed that he acts differently around me than everyone else. I kind of noticed that too in a way. We have a lot in common too. Who knows, my track record is not too good and I am just not that lucky....we'll see.
posted by fashionista-ashley at 6:46 AM
1 Comments:
I read your blog! You should write more often.
Ok, if the living alone thing is an issue-go on Craigslist and find somebody looking for a roommate-living with strangers is sometimes easier than living with friends (trust me, I've done both).
Also, if this guy is seriously saying that you need to lose 20 pounds for you to be his girlfriend-then drop him. You are a gorgeous girl and you deserve someone who will realize that and treat you with the dignity you deserve.
I found my man on OK Cupid-it's a free online dating site where you can fill out personality quizzes and do a really fun and unique profile. I met a lot of great guys on that site, and I had a lot of the same self esteem issue you are dealing with. What I found out is that guys like women who look REAL-i.e. have curves and boobs and personalities. Joe and I have been together two years, and we couldn't be happier. It took me 26 years to find somebody-and he was worth waiting for. Don't settle and don't doubt yourself!
We need to hang out, for reals.
Lisa
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