Some People Just Never Change....

I hate self centered drama queens that make shit up to make themselves feel better! HAHA So, I went out to dinner with 5 girls I danced with and their mothers last week. One girl was missing from our little group and of course if you are missing we will chat about you, thats just how we are. We didn't say anything bad about this girl at all we just talked about was why she didn't move up here when she was supposed to because none of us really knew anything about the situation. I also mentioned the last time I saw her. I guess the only thing that could have been considered bad was when I said I was ignored all night and the next time she comes into town I want to see her alone or with other people I know so that I actually have someone to talk to. I don't see anything bad about that I told that to the girl herself. Just like there was drama 5 years ago on dance team there is still drama made now. After everyone left dinner one girl called the girl who wasn't there and told her we were bad mouthing her. The only reason I know about this is because her mom emailed my mom and was furious that her daughter was being bad mouthed by all the girls at dinner! I emailed her and explained what went on at dinner, I just hope she doesn't hate all of us because of what the other girl embellished to her. I would hate that because I have known this girl for 10 years....oh my 10 years!


Now let me tell you a little bit about this embellisher girl. I met her when I was 6 when we moved to Westerville. She was the only girl in the neighborhood so we were best friends instantly. Of course as a child she was fine but as she grew older she became more and more self-centered. Then another friend of mine in 7th 8th grade became very buddy buddy with her.
They would gang up on me all the time and put me down. I was having self-esteem issues, partly because of them, and each time I would try to talk about them all I was told over and over in a bitchy way"geeze do you always have to talk about you I am sick of hearing about your issues ...blah blah blah lets talk about me and how I am so wonderful". So thats where I leaned to hold shit in and not tell anyone because I think no one wants to hear about it. It even got to the point where she was hitting me...yes I have been in a abusive friendship. One day I snapped and I slapped her so hard it left a huge hand print bruise on her back and she cried. She also took the guy I liked away from me and when I talked to him in classes all he asked about and talked about was her. When it came to dance she was mean to me then as well. She lived one street over, I mean she passed my house going in and out of our neighborhood, but she complained when she had to drive me the same place she was going. I got fed up and stopped asking for rides and I stopped talking to her all together. This dinner just goes to show that she has not changed and probably never will. Some day it will bite her in her ass....at least one can hope.

My whole life I have had shitty friends that made me feel so lousy. I have had abnormal friendships and more "best friends" than most people in a life time. I learned a lot from those people and gained a lot of strength because of them. I guess thats one good thing that came from them. I am glad that I have finally found a group of friends that like me for me and are willing to listen to what I have to say...I am still learning to open up...and I can be myself as stiupd, clumsy or crazy I happen to be. Thanks! But if you get on my bad side watch out! Just kiddin' =)

Dream a Little Dream

So, it is really late but I wanted to share my dream I had last night. It was really odd....

OK so, I am sitting on my bed looking over at the stairs. I notice that there is a huge spider web over the top of the stairs with a spider probably the size of my fist on it. I look on the floor and there are what seems like tiny pieces of shit laying around. All of a sudden these pieces of shit start to move and they turn into more spiders. The next thing I know I am walking around a house that I have never seen before looking for these spiders that sort of emerged from my room. I walk into a closet and I see this little pile and as I get closer I see that it looks like a dead spider all curled up on the floor. Then all of a sudden this pile unfolds into this creature that is walking around. (It is hard to explain exactly what it looks like but it kinda looked like a ball of rubber bands with spider legs) I yell at the people I am with, whom I didn't see their faces, I found one I found one and then I run. Then I find something to hit it with and I go back and it is gone. I then sneaking around this house with this bat like thing in my hands trying to find these creatures to kill them because they only come out at night and if they get you they kill you and take over your body. (I didn't see this happen in my dream I just knew that is what they did) I am running from dozens of these things.....

Then Mary-Michale woke me up. Isn't it weird how often you are woken up by something or someone from a dream right at the climax.

If anyone has an explanation as to why I had a messed up dream like this please let me know because I have no idea what this is supposed to tell me. I am going to bed now. Maybe I will have another weird dream I can write about.

More random thoughts

I am sitting here at my computer reading other's blogs and I realized that no one other than Mary knows I have one. The thing is that I don't think have any one's email address to let them know about mine. I guess I could leave a comment on their blog. Who knows, maybe no one would want to read my entries (not that I really have any yet) because my life is pretty uneventful. Oh well.....we will see.



Anyways, we had our party in Sat night. It was OK, I wish people would have stayed longer and drank more. We have so much alcohol left over. The one thing that I loved about the night was the fact that Ryan, the only straight guy, opened up so much with a Q&A, it was the straight man versus the gay men. It was quite funny, the first question that was asked to Ryan was..."what does a vagina feel like" LoL from there it went to cum on a cracker, Nair on balls, and naked night in the fraternity. Interesting I think I heard someone say "wow fraternities are more gay than I thought", well duh! I was laughing so hard. I think we are going to have people over for another night of randomness soon. Hopefully this time will be fun and crazy with drunk people. I hope it wont be as hot. I think that was another problem, it was really humid and hot in our place because we have no central air. I am glad we moved in here though because my last place was a shit hole and my room was a shoe box. Now we have a beautiful place and my room is fine for me. Actually most people like my room the best, who knows why. I do have to say I love the colors and the make-out corner, I just wish I could find someone to make-out with.

I saw the eye doctor today. Good news...I thought my eye sight was getting worse but it actually stayed about the same. I thought I was going to have to get contacts but I don't. I didn't even have to get new glasses! I just have to wear them when I drive at night and when I am sitting in class. I did have my eyes dilated, that was odd. I have never had that done before. After my exam was done my parents took me to Red Lobster, yummy! On the way there I was trying to text Mary-Michael and I couldn't see my phone, I think I got all the words correct but I was definitely guessing my way through. All during lunch we were sitting by the window and I had to keep my sunglasses on, I felt so stupid but hey what could I do my eyes were too sensitive to light. It is now 6:06, my appointment was at 12:30 and my eyes are still a little funky.