Just stuff

I am at Bakers and it is so quiet and boring, there is no one here. My mom is at a meeting, 2 people are on vacation, and who knows where the others are. So, I decided to write a blog; though I think no one reads it .... anyways ..........

There is not much going with me right now other than job hunting and wishing I had someone in my life on a personal level. I have put in 11 applications and I have not heard back from anyone. I cant just take any job because I have to live on my own and I am saying in order for me to live comfortably I need to make at least $30,000. I don't have an option to live with someone. After everything that went down with someone I thought would be OK I don't trust living with just anyone; and the person I would live with is living with someone else. Which is fine but now I am thrown into being even more alone by living alone. I am sure once I am living on my own I will be fine but I get lonely and bored really easy and it is a little scary for me. When I am lonely and bored I think too much and then become depressed sometimes, it depends on what I am thinking about.

There is someone I am interested in but I am not sure if he is interested in me. Honestly (depression moment) I don't know how he could be. I have heard from my mom that he maybe be interested in me but he would be afraid to bring me around his friends because I am not a skinny mini and need to loose 20 or so pounds. Then I heard from a friend that his friends are pressuring him not to get into a long term relationship. I don't know, I think he is just not interested in me. Others have noticed that he acts differently around me than everyone else. I kind of noticed that too in a way. We have a lot in common too. Who knows, my track record is not too good and I am just not that lucky....we'll see.